Sensory Experiences...?
All my life, when I’ve seen flashing lights, I’ve seen/felt pain. Lately, it’s been worse pain, so I have trouble crossing the street with all the safety signals, turn signals, crosswalk timers, etc. obviously I can no longer bike along the street.

Similarly, when I've heard loud noises, I’ve heard/felt pain. Lately, it’s been worse pain, so even with ear plugs and ear protectors, I can’t handle the intense pain-beatings with the backup painbeepers, painsirens, car horns, elevator painchimes, construction noise, etc. and often collapse and curl up and scream in agony.

But apparently, when some people see flashing lights, they don’t see/feel any pain.

So I’m wondering (a) what that’s like and (b) how we can try to explain our sensory experiences to each other.

To me, when I see flashing lights, I see/feel the pain, just as when I see bright lights, I see/feel the brightness, and I don’t see how one can see flashing lights without seeing... well the pain.

I haven’t been able to explain my sensory experiences to other people, and those of us with different sensory experiences need to be able to explain our sensory experiences to each other. Other people dismiss my explanations as “rants,” or as “nonsense.” I get badly beaten with painful sensory bombardment, and can’t access many public spaces, public transportation, public services, any places within half a mile of ongoing construction, etc.

If more of us are able to explain more diverse sensory experiences maybe we can get more inclusive infrastructure.

When I Talk About Painimation...
Do neurotypicals really not understand? It seems straightforward and descriptive to me: ANIMATION OFTEN HURTS. It seems like any other term, such as “painful animation,” is longer, or less clear, or both.

P.S. Do neurotypicals really not experience these things at all the same way? I can understand that some people might find flashing lights, animated gifs, zooming maps, operating system misfeatures, etc. only moderately painful, but how can anyone see them without experiencing the pain? I think it would be a completely different sensory experience: “What is it Like to be a Neurotypical?” (with apologies to Nagel, whose paper I haven’t read yet.)

So I was arguing against the death penalty...
Now killing someone who is threatening you or threatening someone else might be the lesser evil...

But killing someone who is imprisoned as an act of state-sanctioned revenge is the greater... even if they are guilty, adding another evil only adds another evil.

I didn’t use the word murder, but a supporter of the death penalty claimed I was “misus[ing] the definition of "revenge" and "murder,”“

If you check the actual use, people have always used the word murder to mean killing another person. It seems Orwellian to only use the word murder to mean killing another person without state sanction.

I remember one discussion on the old Jesus Radicals forum about murder in self-defense. and the death penalty is a world away from self-defense.

If you check the etymology, it comes from a root meaning death, not one meaning without state sanction.

And then they claimed I was misusing the word “Orwellian,” too...

(no subject)
If your political position consists of:

1. Hating people.

2. Encouraging state violence against them.

3. Spouting dehumanizing language against them, (e.g. “illegals,” “mtcfs,” etc.)

4. Spouting complete gibberish which undermines any discussion, (e.g. “every country has a right to restrict immigration,” when the whole point of rights is to put actual people’s freedoms beyond state interference and political bull.)

You shouldn’t expect people to try to refute your nonsense. You should expect people to try to organize against your threat.

Estrogen and G'd
In my experience, estrogen makes it easier to feel connected to G’d and to other people, progesterone is complicated, and excess testosterone makes it harder.

It’s possible that this is because dysphoria makes it harder.

It’s also possible that estrogen generally makes it easier, just like it generally makes emotions stronger, migraines nastier, etc.

And throughout history, there have been religious movements of trans womyn, and transfeminine people, and also of apparent men who castrated themselves to get closer to G’d. But there have hardly ever been comparable movements of trans men, and transmasculine people.

As long as certain abled people continue beating disabled people, and generally screwing over disabled people, those abled people owe compensation.

Might Does Not Make Right
There are a lot of issues with the concept of rights, but there is a lot of value in asserting that people should have certain rights, and that these should not be subject to the whim of the ruling class, or for that matter, of temporarily-misguided majorities.

There are some people saying that states should have rights, or that nation-states do have the right to hurt people for this or that, e.g. to "protect their borders."

These people are pushing nonsense. They aren't offering any insight about the limits of the concept of rights. They are simply using "right" as a catch-phrase to excuse the violation of rights and to take any meaning from rights.
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I just can’t get used to the cruelty the right wing directs at Chelsea Manning, insisting that she should be tortured, broken, and killed.

And they keep calling her a “traitor.”

To whom?

To all Americans, they say.

Well, she’s no traitor to me, for one.

She stood up for everyone. She exposed the lies and the crimes of the government. She exposed diplomatic cables concerning the government contractors’ involvement in raping children. She exposed massacres.

I know she isn’t a pacifist, but by exposing these crimes, and by transitioning, she has rejected two of the key values of violence.

They want to take revenge to defend the masculinity of klepto/aristocratic honor, and to defend the honor of sadistic masculinity.

This Actually Explains a Lot.

[blockquote]No the problem is that when you legalise something you normalise it[/blockquote]

No you don't, unless your society has too much respect for law and too little respect for people making their own decisions.

This actually explains a lot. It explains why some people are so opposed to equal rights and bodily autonomy. It also explains why some people assume, when I talk about how we shouldn't normalize eugenicist attitudes, that I must want to ban certain selective abortions.

What I'm Looking for in Roleplaying Games
I am a longtime player, but rarely gamemaster. I haven't been able to play in some time due to my disabilities. So one of my first priorities is:

1. An inclusive gaming group and an accessible environment.

But some of my other priorities include:

2. Ancient historical roleplaying. Sometimes history is more interesting than another fantasy setting.

3. Disabled-inclusive and trans-inclusive space opera and cyberpunk opera. Because of my chronic illness and chronic pain, I'd definitely like settings where someone like me could get significant cybernetic upgrades, full-body proxy bots, or full-body conversions. But I'm disappointed with settings which impose empathy costs, humanity costs, and/or essence costs instead of health costs, and depending on the types of upgrades possibly dysphoria costs and dissociation. Now Eclipse Phase looks like a very good option for very high-tech settings, but it has buggy character creation rules, and it doesn't have variations for lower-tech settings.

4. A break from mercenary roleplaying. I for one don't want to play proessional mercenaries, adventurers, shadowrunners, etc. I want the chance to play rebels, refugees, and other people thrown into these situations.

5. A break from super-powered roleplaying. I for one don't want to play characters who are automatically more skilled and more capable than most non-player characters. I want to play characters who are doing what they can.

6. A lack of plot armor. Danger should be dangerous. Yes, I hate it when my character dies. No, I don't want special protection so that my character survives events which would kill most non-player characters. I'd be happier with two characters, so I can keep going.

7. A lack of class-based complications, whether special builds or special straightjackets, unless they're very appropriate to the particular setting.

I hope you can see how 4, 5, 6, and 7 can fit in with 2, and 3.

8. A chance to read the rules, create my characters, etc. without being tied to the computer. I can use computers, true. I find it easier to write on paper, and to read either from books or from e-readers. I can't use tablets with my sensory processing issues.

9. So the idea of using either spreadsheets, usually written for Excel, or special software, probably in Wine, to create characters just isn't right for me.

10. Meanwhile the idea of using sets of ordinary d6s does appeal to me because using 3d6 instead of d20 or d100 could allow better probability distributions and would make it easier to find dice for new players.


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